This paper challenges the idea that a shift to self-chosen
marriage partner means that the traditional cultural norms stressing
family influence on spouse selection have been weakened by inroads
of modern norms of greater individual autonomy in the marriage
process. Using a representative sample of married young adults (aged
20-34) in Greater Jakarta, we explore the courtship processes, and the
degree of parental role in spouse selection. While only four per cent
of the respondents cited that their marriage was arranged by others;
over half of the respondents reported their parents or in-laws played a
major role in their marriage decision. Our multivariate analysis
suggests that tertiary educated respondents are those most likely to
report their parents playing a major role. We reflect on the prevailing
cultural norms to discuss the centrality of family in studying the
interactions between marriage, education, and social mobility in
modern Indonesia.