Talking to psychological and social professionals about what they see as a growing problem of marital conflict in Rwanda, the main drivers are identified as mistaken expectations of marriage, inadequate preparation, percei ved failure to take on responsibilities, poor communication and unilateral (often patriarchal) decision-making. The consequences are divorce/separation, health problems and effects on the children. The professionals suggest that the government should establish preventive programmes to sensitise people about gender roles and about human rights and set up pre-marital education. They did not talk much about what they themselves could do once a conflict is established and beyond prevention.