This lecture summarizes lessons learned by an engineer whom lives with his family in rural sub-Saharan Africa, for more then 11 years. The journey includes observations in engineering and appropriate technologies, touches upon orality and relatio-economics, and discusses the use of ICT in rural Zambia. Switching perspectives between engineering and critical ethnography, the lecture highlights the dilemmas between stakeholders of ICTs in rural Africa and discusses possible
ways of reconciling these dilemmas.